To Love a Neko
by DiamondGurl01
Summary: Kaname Kuran a lonely corporate owner decides to get a pet and goes online to a mysterious pet web-site where he becomes the owner of a rare and exotic cat. The very next day a cute naked guy is delivered to his door with silver cat ears and a tail.
1. Special Delivery

Chapter 1: Special Delivery 

"Yuki, I don't think I want to go." Kaname Kuran said rubbing his temples. He had been in the middle of going over some paperwork when his overly cheery younger sister barged in.

"But onii-sama, it's been over a month since you have last been to Takuma-sempai's house."

Yuki gave a pout as she stared at her brother leaning back against his chair behind his desk.

"You've been cooped up in this office long enough and I even bet that you haven't even been to your house since then either?"

Yuki looked to the corner toward where her brother had a black leather couch leaning against the far wall and just as she suspected on the couch was a pillow and a blanket. Yuki turned to face her brother with a gaze Kaname knew all too well. It was worry mixed with sadness. It was a gaze he hated to watch unfold onto her delicate face, because it pained him that he was the one who caused it to appear. So with a tired sigh he agreed making that worry look on her face disappear just as fast as it had appeared and the next thing Kaname knew he was standing outside his childhood friend's home with an excited Yuki standing next to him.

"Go on onii-sama, open the door." Yuki urged her brother.

"Shouldn't we knock first?"

"Its fine, he already knows we're coming."

"Yuki, did you plan this?"

"Just be quiet and open the door already."

'_Geez, somebody's in a rush.'_ Kaname thought turning the doorknob. The inside was dark. Not one light was on which was really surprising since this wasn't like Takuma, especially when he knew he had guest coming over.

"Are you sure he's even here?"

"Yes, he is. So just go on." Yuki answered annoyed.

Kaname groaned as he moved his hand along the wall, feeling around for the light switch. As he was doing that his hand went from the cold feel of the wall to something warm and soft, making Kaname stop in his tracks. For some funny reason, Kaname felt this before. He didn't remember when but he did and out of habit he squeezed, causing whatever he touched to yelp.

"Onii-sama, what was that?" Yuki asked turning on the lights.

Her face went from happy to shock as she looked at the scene before her and she wasn't the only one, as all the color from Kaname's face drained as he looked at the thing he touched. Cupped in his hand was the left side of an older woman's breast and when I mean older women, I meant a granny about the age of sixty. Her face was just as shocked as Kaname's and Yuki's was.

After a short second of silence, a female's voice came from beside him. "Um…Kaname-sama. Why are you holding my grandmother's boob?"

Kaname turned to see Rima looking at him, probably waiting for an answer to her question. Kaname was about to before his eyes caught movement from behind Rima making him look past her only to see a room full of people looking both shocked and speechless. They were even some who were trying their hardest not to laugh, even Takuma who was standing next to Yuki by the light switch was trying his damn hardest to stop by putting both his hands over his mouth.

Kaname looked back at the crowd, finally noticing the banner hanging over their heads that read: Happy Birthday Kaname.

Kaname wanted to die. He wanted to be anywhere but this exact spot. This was the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him and because of that he wanted to die. Dig a hole in the ground and stuff himself inside where he can stay there until this whole thing had been blown off but that was a wish he knew wouldn't come true. He was Kaname Kuran and embarrassing moments like these came once in a life time, so he knew that his friends will never let him live it down, at least not for a while.

"Kaname-sama?" Rima spoke, still waiting for her answer.

Kaname snatched his hand away, cradling it to his chest.

"I-it's not what you think, Rima. You see I…I was looking for the light switch in the dark…a-and then I was feeling on the wall for it then your grandma's boob…I mean breast, touched my hand." Kaname tried to explain but Rima was still giving him an expressionless face making it hard for Kaname to understand what she was thinking.

There was a giggle coming from Kaname's right making him turn to look to where he saw the old lady giggling into her hand.

"Don't be so harsh Rima." The lady looked at Kaname. "You, my dear boy, made my day. You are the first man to touch me that way since my husband died ten years ago."

Kaname wanted to run to the bathroom and throw up or maybe even wash his hands to rinse away the feel of an old women's breast on his palm. Oh god, did he want to but instead he just stood there not knowing what to do, traumatized beyond belief that Takuma had to cut in.

"Let me apologize Ms. Touya-san in behalf of my friend here who's probably very shocked to have his surprise party begin on the wrong breast…I mean, start. So how about we all put this matter aside for the rest of the evening and get to the celebration we are all looking forward to."

The silence was erupted with loud cheers as music began playing and people went about doing their own thing, already beginning to enjoy themselves all except for Kaname who was traumatized by the whole event. Takuma led Kaname toward a table in the far side where all their closest friends were sitting.

"Well if it isn't the old lady groper." Akatsuki Kain teased. "Were those puppies hanging down low?"

"That's not funny, Kain." Takuma said all the while trying his best not to laugh about it.

"You know, you can all laugh your asses off. I really don't care, as long as it's you guys?" Kaname admitted sitting down on a chair across from Takuma, snatching away Kain's drink and drowning it down in one whole gulp.

"No of course we won't laugh about it, Kaname." Takuma tried to say, but it only went in vain as Yuki and Sayori came to the table laughing their heads off.

Kaname gave a look that showed he really didn't care anymore, causing everyone at the table to look at each other before erupting in laughs and giggles as well, while Kaname dranked another mouthful of liquor.

"You should have seen the look on your face when you realized who it was." Kain said in between laughs.

"If you thought that was funny, then you will get a kick out of the way Touya's grandmother looked when she saw it was onii-sama." Yuki giggled.

Kaname rubbed at his temple feeling his head throb indicating that the liquor was taking effect. "You guys are really cruel."

"Sorry onii-sama, but you did say that we could laugh."

"Well, I take that back." Kaname murmured.

"Once you say something Kaname, you can't take it back." Kain pointed out, his laughing cooling down a bit.

In the distance a song played making Yuki excited.

"Ah, I love this song! Come Sayori, let's dance."

"But Yuki, I'm too tired." Sayori complained.

"Well to bad, because you're going to dance with me." Yuki said dragging her friend with her and waving at her brother as she left.

Kaname waved his hand at her as he took another sip of liquor.

"Geez, Kaname you sure are drinking a lot. Is touching an old lady's boob really be that disturbing for you?" Takuma asked after knowing Yuki was far enough away.

"Honestly, I really don't care about that anymore."

"Then what is making you drink heavily then?"

"It's Shizuka." Kaname whispered.

"What? You're still complaining about that again? Dude, it's been a whole three months since she left." Kain said annoyed at hearing the same thing.

"Yea, but I can't believe she left me. I mean, I was planning on marrying her someday."

"Like when Kaname? The day that pigs fly?" Kain toward Kaname. "Face it Kaname, you focus more on your work than you do on your love life. That's why she left you."

"Now Kain, your being way too harsh now. Can't you see our friend is suffering?" Takuma patted Kaname's shoulders. "It'll be okay Kaname; you will find a new person to love."

"Personally, I think he's better off with a pet for the moment than a person." Kain suggested.

"That's actually a good idea Kain. Kaname, go and get a pet. Maybe a dog would be nice for you."

"Are you forgetting that dogs need to go out for walks and with Kaname's busy life, I doubt that he will have the time for that?"

"True…" Takuma pondered before it came to him. "What about a cat, Kaname? They are very independent and can go to the bathroom in a kitty litter box. The only work you have to do is remember to feed it and that's all. So what do you say?"

Kaname shrugged his shoulders. "I guess that's fine with me."

"Fine, then it's settled. Later on this week the three of us will visit an animal shelter and look for cats. Got it? So don't make any plans." Kain and Kaname nodded. "Good, now let's enjoy the rest of Kaname's party in style."

All three boys hollered as they took shots of vodka.

The rest of the night went exactly as Takuma said it would. They danced, sang and drank the night away that Kaname had to have someone call him a taxi. Kaname had to leave both his car and his presents at Takuma's house, because he was way too drunk to carry them a single step without wanting to fall flat on his face. Kaname had to have the assistance of a bell boy to direct him up to his apartment suite.

After giving the bell boy a hundred dollar tip without knowing, Kaname closed the door leaning his back against it. Kaname looked around dazedly at the room. It was quiet, just like it had been the day Shizuka left. Seeing the place just made Kaname sad that's why he had been sleeping in his office for the last mouth and using the showers in the boy's locker room at the gym that was located in the basement area of his company building and whenever he was hungry he would have his secretary/body guard Seiren order him some take out. But now he was back to an empty home with an empty heart to match it.

Kaname remembered the talk he had with Takuma and Kain earlier about him agreeing to adopt a cat, so it could keep him company. But seriously, how the hell was a normal cat going to do that. Kaname didn't know, but the more he thought about having another living being in the house living with him, the more he didn't seem all that lonely anymore. With every strength he had, Kaname made his way to his Mac laptop that was sitting on the coffee table. He sat down in front of it waiting for the laptop to turn on and after it did, Kaname clicked on safari. His Google homepage came up. Clicking on the browser Kaname quickly typed in the words - **cat adaptation** and pressed search where about 4,660,000 results came up. Kaname scrolled down looking at different links when an unusual ad popped up on his screen.

_Are you desperately craving for a companion to fill in the empty spot where a lost love had once been? But don't think a normal pet will do the trick? Then be the very first to own your very own exotic pet! Ones with so much human qualities and emotions that they practically are. _

_Don't believe us? Then try it for yourself for a whole month free and if you don't like it after one month, feel free to return it back._

_For more about this great offer and about our exotic pets, please click the link below Kaname Kuran._

_**Click Here**_

Kaname stared speechless at the advertisement. He didn't know how the hell it knew his name, but he will admit it did peak his curiosity, that without stopping himself he clicked the link which led him onto a new window, revealing the most weirdest website Kaname had ever seen. There were floral designs all over the page and at the top in bright yellow font color written in bold letters was the name: _Cross's Exotic Pets_. Below that was a smaller heading that read: _To begin creating your exotic pet, click here_. Kaname did and watched as the page changed, revealing some sort of survey asking for information about himself.

Kaname thought this was stupid, but obliged anyways, answering silly questions like what food he liked or what does he do for fun. These questions went on for a total of ten minutes before the most important part finally appeared.

_What color hair?_

An image of Shizuka popped in Kaname's head. He loved her white colored hair, but if Kaname was to have his cat have the same color hair as Shizuka then he would probably feel depressed, so instead Kaname typed in silver, a color that was close to white but not exactly.

_What eye color?_

Kaname was going to choose blue, but then that wouldn't be much of an exotic animal, so he picked lilac his favorite color.

_What skin color?_

Kaname raised an eyebrow at that question before just dismissing it off as being the color of the skin underneath the cat's fur. Pearly white, Kaname typed before moving onto the last question.

_Male or female?_

Without hesitation Kaname typed male. He didn't want to have a female anything around him, because he was fearful for the fact that having a female cat will just remind him of Shizuka.

Kaname gave a tired yawn as he glanced at the time on the corner of the screen; it was two fifteen in the morning. Kaname was grateful that he didn't have to go to work in the morning, so sleeping in wasn't a problem for him. Giving another yawn, Kaname turned his head looking at the message written.

_Your order has been placed; delivery will take about one to two business days. So until then have a lovely day and thank you for your time._

_-Cross_

Kaname didn't know why, but that name seemed familiar to him somehow but he just couldn't place where in fact he had heard it from. After a minute of trying to guess Kaname gave up and closed his laptop, leaping onto his couch that was just behind him. As soon as Kaname's head met the pillow, sleep took over, sending him immediately to dreamland.

-0-

Kaname woke up to someone knocking at his door. At first the knocks were soft, but after a second they started to become louder.

Giving a groan of annoyance, he sat up and yelled. "Hold on, I'm coming!"

Kaname pushed himself up off the couch and wobbled his way to the now quite door. When he opened it, Kaname was greeted by a huge long right side up box standing in front of him.

"What the hell?" Kaname murmured.

"Um…excuse me." Kaname looked around for the deliveryman who had dropped off this box to him, but as he looked around there was no one there not even down either hallway.

Kaname looked back at the box where he spotted a paper with his name on it. He grabbed it in his hands where he began to open it, reading it to himself.

_Hello Kaname!_

_You must be wondering who the hell this is, aren't you? Well I must keep my identity a secret for the moment; mostly because it makes our first meeting that much more fun…hehe. But as an apology, I decided to send you your marvelous pet early, so I hope you can forgive me which I think you might once you get a good look at what I created for you. VERY sexy, if I do say so myself. _

_But enough rambling here, because I must tell you two things. One being that what you have as a pet is one of my most rarest animals on the market, not to mention that it's very popular and expensive, so keep in mind that this is only a free month trial you have with him, so I don't expect only harm to come to my creation because you will surely be responsible for all damages. I will come personally after the trail is over to ask you if you want to buy him which you can if you want, but it will cost you. And if not, then I will take him back without you paying a single penny. _

_Now onto the second thing I must tell you. Inside that box is not only your pet, but there is also a manual book that tells you do's and don'ts about talking care of your pet and you have to go by chapter, so don't think about going ahead or skipping chapters because serious stuff could happen if you do, but no pressure of course._

_Well that's pretty much all I have to say, so please enjoy and come to love your pet, because he was made especially for you._

_-Cross_

_P.S.: His name is Zero by the way._

Kaname stared at the letter for a moment before folding it up and putting it in his pocket. He didn't really get most of the things this Cross guy said, but some of it made Kaname want to see exactly how his furry little friend would look like. Kaname pulled the box in and closed the door to his apartment behind him.

"For a small furry cat your box is really heavy and big." Kaname said grabbing onto one side of the box. "Well let's take a look at how sexy you really are." Kaname pulled at the side hard enough that he was able to break apart the box, but the small furry cat Kaname had expected to leap out from the box was actually totally different.

Kaname landed on his back as whatever it was that jumped him was straddling him with either leg on either side of Kaname's hips.

Kaname eyes widen as he noticed that the boy he was staring up at had a head full of silver hair that reached about the middle of the boy's neck and on either side of his head was silver cat ears. The boy was naked from his neck down to his toes that Kaname was able to see a tail sprouting out just above the boy's butt and like his ears and hair; the boy's tail was a silver color too.

A grin appeared on the unknown man's face as he leaned down toward Kaname's lips. "It's nice to meet you Master. I'm Zero, your new pet neko."

TBC…


	2. Getting to know your Neko

Chapter 2: Getting to know your Neko

Takuma, Kain, and Aidou stared with a flushed face at the person sitting on his knees in front of the large fish tank built inside the wall between Kaname's living room and bedroom. All three had been called together by a frantic Kaname who was babbling nonsense that neither of them could understand what he was saying and when they all arrived at Kaname's place together they all were met with a very shocking surprise and a very crazy explanation.

"You know Kaname; I never took you for a cosplaying otaku." Kain voiced out as he eyed his friend suspiciously.

"What? How the hell do you come to that conclusion after the explanation I just gave?" Kaname huffed angrily even though he was sporting an embarrassed blush.

"We heard you Kaname but it just sounds so…how should I put it"

"Unbelievable?" Takuma finished for his friend.

"Yes, exactly."

"I know how ridiculous it sounds but it's honestly the truth."

"Don't worry Kaname, they might not believe you but I do." Aidou responded.

"Of course you believe him, your practically Kaname's shadow." Kain teased his cousin.

"I'm not." Aidou huffed.

Takuma shook his head. "Well no matter what the truth is your stuck with him for a whole month and plus maybe he could finally be what is takes to cure you of your broken heart."

"I don't know Takuma. I mean, I don't even know how to go about taking care of him."

"Well you can start off by giving him something to wear." Kain answered with a blush on his face as he eyed the still naked boy.

"I guess you're right." Kaname had a matching blush on his face too as he went to his room to grab a shirt from his closet.

"So, can the thing talk or what?" Aidou asked as he made his way over to it.

"I don't know, why don't you ask it something." Kain suggested.

"Hey you?" Aidou called but Zero was too immersed in watching the fishes swim around the fish tank to even bother with the pest beside him.

That caused Aidou to become annoyed and in order to get Zero's attention began pointing at his cheek.

"Hey you, don't ignore me."

"Um Aidou…I wouldn't do that if I were you." Takuma warned the blonde man as Takuma started to sense that Zero was starting to get agitated.

"What? It's not like this thing is going to do anything- Ouch!" Aidou cried out in pain when Zero opened his mouth and latched onto Aidou's finger.

Kaname who had just returned from his bedroom saw the commotion and quickly went and pulled Zero from Aidou unconsciously causing Aidou to fall unto his back.

"What the hell just happened?" Kaname asked as he held onto Zero.

"He bit me!" Aidou cried out and received a nasty hiss from Zero. "And look, he just hissed at me."

"Yea but you really deserved it for poking at him like that." Takuma pointed out.

"Tsk, whatever." Aidou huffed as he licked his wounded finger.

Kaname shook his head and turned to Zero. "Here, put this on Zero."

Zero nodded and as soon as the shirt was on, Zero turned to Kaname. "How does it look Master?"

Kaname felt all the blood rush to his face as he stared at Zero. The shirt Kaname gave him was big enough that it reached Zero's thighs but it still wasn't long enough to cover Zero's backside if he was for any reason were to bend down to grab something. The sleeves were also long that it past Zero's fingers and Kaname was force to roll them up for him. Yet, despite all that Zero looked absolutely adorable that Kaname couldn't fight the urge to just want to hug him and do some unforgiving things to him.

Kaname had to clear his mind of the perverted thoughts before he decided to speak. "You look sex- I mean cute."

Zero smiled. "Thank you Master."

Kaname cleared his throat. "Um Zero, is it alright if I…I mean, we…talk to you seriously for a minute?"

Zero looked at Kaname's friends who were currently calming down an irritated Aidou before looking back at Kaname. "Sure but first let me prepare some tea."

And before Kaname could say anything Zero disappeared into the kitchen. When Zero returned several minutes later he had a tray of four cups of tea which he placed on Kaname's coffee table and then sat down next to Kaname on the couch.

"Okay, so what is it that you want to talk to me about?"

"Well, it says here in your manual in chapter one of the_ Getting to know your Neko_ _manual _is that the best way to get to know your neko is by asking them yourself, so with that we or mainly I want to know everything about you." Kaname said as he placed the manual back down on the table.

"Sure, what would you like to know?"

"What are your primary skills?" Kaname questioned.

"Well, all my skills are based off of the survey you had taken."

"And what are those skills exactly?" Takuma asked a little curious.

"Cleaning and cooking any type of cuisine."

"Even foreign cuisine?"

Zero nodded. "Any type my Master desires."

"Well that sounds pleasing." Kain answered impressed.

"Alright, what else?" Takuma pushed onward.

"I am good at marksmanship and I am also a skilled fighter."

"That can be handy." Kain commented again.

"Oh, and I'm skilled in sexual intercourse." Zero answered matter-of-fact.

That response caused everyone to cough and spit out the contents of their tea that they had all by chance taken at the same time. Wiping away the tea from around his mouth Kain spoke in clear shock. "What was that last skill?"

"You mean the skill where I'm good at sex?" Zero questioned Kain.

"Yes, that one. Why do you have that?"

"Because it was what my Master asked for."

All three of Kaname's friends turned to stare at him.

"Don't look at me like that." Kaname stated with an embarrassed flush. "How the hell was I supposed to know that those survey questions will be the building block to how my neko would turn out?"

"Yea, like how no one had suspected I would end up dating my own cousin yet here we are now not so many sexes later." Aidou voiced out.

"You're not helping at all Aidou." Takuma huffed.

"Really? I thought I was being really real?"

"A little too real I might add." Kaname said embarrassed for his friend who appeared as if he wanted to crawl in a hole somewhere. "How about you go over there and play with this." Kaname handed Aidou a sheet of bubble wrap that he took from inside the box that Zero came in.

Aidou's eyes lit up as he took the bubble wrap from his friend. "~Ah, Kaname-sama's bubble wrap. I can add this to my lovely collection."

Takuma patted Kain on his shoulder. "I feel for you, I really do."

"You're so lucky that your lover is away on business Takuma." Kain sighed. "Anyways, back to the main point here. So your skills are based on everything Kaname had said he wanted on the survey he took, right?"

Zero nodded. "But I can still learn more skills on my own if I wanted to."

"Alright, so you don't-"

_Pop_

"You don't-"

_Pop_

"Would you cut that out?" Kain shouted toward Aidou who was lying on the floor on his stomach with the bubble wrap which he had immersed himself in playing with.

Aidou turned toward Kain. "Oh, sorry."

"Anyway, what I was trying to say was-"

_Pop_

"That's it." Kain huffed as he made his way toward his lover and proceeded to snatch the bubble wrap from the blonde boy's hand.

"No, not my precious bubble wrap." Aidou cried. "Please have mercy on the bubble wrap."

Despite his lover's plea Kain twisted the bubble wrap causing the remaining bubbles to pop simultaneously before handing the sheet back to Aidou.

"Y-You popped my bubble wrap." Aidou sniffed. "Kain you big meanie."

"Geez Kain, was that really necessary?" Takuma asked feeling slightly sorry for Aidou.

"Oh please, it is due to Kain's spoiling him so much that Aidou is like that." Kaname added as he finished with his tea.

"And it's that reason why I'm putting my foot down." Kain sternly answered then turned to Aidou. "Aidou would you please act your age?"

Aidou crossed his arms and puffed his cheeks. "No."

Kain sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Then you leave me no choice. Aidou, go to the corner now?"

"What? You can't be serious?"

"Oh but I am."

Aidou sucked in his teeth as he got up. "I never ever get to have any fun and it's all because of you, you damn Ichigo look-a-like."

"What the hell is that even suppose to mean?" Kain asked but only received shrugs of the shoulders by his friends. "Whatever. As I was saying before, you don't mind me asking what it is that you are Zero-kun?"

"Well, to answer your question I am the product of a rare species of cat known as the Silver Panther which is a species able to shape shift into panthers and human willingly."

"You can shape shift into a panther?"

"No, since I'm a rare case in which I am the product of a silver panther and a pureblooded human which explains how I look."

"So you're not some kind of robot?"

Zero shook his head. "I am as human as you are except for my ears, tail, and fangs which are the product of my panther father."

"And so the man who created you or should I say breed you is this Cross guy, right?"

"Yup, Cross-san specializes in the breeding of exotic animals and with his help I was able to be born."

"One last question. Were you born with the skill your master wanted?"

"No, I learned all of it. We silver panthers are fast learners. So when we are bought we are expected to learn the skills asked of us all for the sake of pleasing our Masters."

"Are there anymore of you?"

"Well, there are different types of neko breeds but I am the only known and living silver panther hybrid." Zero turned and faced Kaname. "I have been waiting eighteen years for someone to adopt me and finally after waiting for so long fate has finally brought me to you. So for now on, please take care of me."

Kaname forced a smile. "Ah yes, of course and you take care of me as well."

"Of course,"Zero replied back as he wrapped his hands around Kaname's left arm. _'I will love you for the rest of my life.'_

As soon as the day turned to night it was high time for Kain, Aidou, and Takuma to all head home. Kaname offered to walk his friends to their cars and left an obedient Zero upstairs to clean up. The walk to his friends car was silent but it was obvious that even after their scuffle with each other earlier, Kain and Aidou were back on close terms with each other again. Kaname felt envious of his friends who had others who they can spend the rest of their life with but Kaname's chance of that left when the woman he loved no longer wanted to be with him anymore.

"Hey Kaname, what's the matter?" Takuma asked as soon as they reached the area where they parked their cars.

"It's this whole Zero thing."

"What do you mean?"

"When I entered that website I wasn't expecting to take care of another human-like being just a cat."

"Are you saying that you don't want Zero?" Kain shook his head. "There you go again with pushing people away."

"I'm not pushing him away."

"Then what are you doing?" Kaname opened his mouth to speak but then closed it for he wasn't able to come up with a reason making Kain shake his head again. "Let's go Aidou."

Aidou looked from Kain to Kaname then back again. "Um okay…bye Kaname and Takuma."

Takuma and Kaname watched in silence as Kain drove off. As soon as they were gone Takuma turned to face his friend. "Please forgive Kain for becoming upset but you must understand why he is so annoyed by your behavior."

"Yea, I know." Kaname answered.

They all knew why Kain held a sort of resentment toward Kaname. Kaname was the type to put work first over everything else, even love. Kain on the other hand was the opposite of Kaname. He would give up all that he had if it meant being with the person he loved and he even did that for Ruka but unfortunately Ruka had chose her career rather than be with him. And that left Kain with a broken heart and a bitterness for those who have people who care for them but choose to push them away by absorbing themselves with other things. So it was no wonder Kain left the way he did, because he was right, Kaname was pushing Zero away as he had done with Shizuka.

"But, he's right you know. In order for you to move on you must give others a chance." Takuma placed a reassuring hand on Kaname's shoulder. "And I like I said before, Zero might be what you need to cure yourself of being afraid to love and maybe in the one mouth you have with him you might end up caring for him. So please give Zero a chance."

But that was the problem. Kaname knew he would get attached to the boy if he did give him a chance. Yet, Kaname's fears of driving him away unintentionally like he had done with Shizuka scared him more than anything else, because he didn't want to lose another person dear to him. So he had to no matter how hard his heart would rebel against the idea. Kaname had to forbid himself from becoming anymore attached to the silver haired neko than he already was.

TBC…

* * *

D/N: Let me apologize before hand for the total OOCness of the characters. But since this fanfic is meant to be a crack story the OOCness was needed. I will also like to apologize for the lateness of the post but honestly I had total writer's block on what to do for the next chapter but finally after months of seriously thinking it over I finally know what to do and where this is going. So I will be posting more chapters -maybe not regularly- but I will be posting them.

So please enjoy this chapter as much as you can and look forward to the next update which is _Chapter 3: Neko's don't eat cat food!_

As always please drop a review and tell me what you think.

~Dia


	3. Don't feed a Neko Catnip!

Chapter 3: Don't feed a Neko Catnip!

"~Kaname" Zero called to the sleeping brunette all warm and snugged in his large king size bed. Yet, Kaname was unmoving, deep in his sleep like a hibernating bear.

Zero stared for a moment before leaning closer and stopping just above Kaname's left cheek and without hesitation licked from Kaname's jaw line right up the edge of his ear and within an instant, Kaname jolted awake, face flushed like a ripe tomato.

"Morning Master~" Zero smiled.

Kaname's face flushed a deeper red when he realized that Zero was straddling his hips with no article of clothing on. "Z-Zero, where are your clothes?"

"Oh, I took them off." Zero answered in a completely normal way.

"W-Why?" Kaname asked, his eyes were staring at the limp muscle between Zero's legs with caution as well as curiosity.

"Because I always sleep naked."

Kaname didn't know how to react to that but he was lucky that he was able to convince Zero to sleep on the couch that night, since god knows what Kaname would have done to a defenseless Zero.

"Um Zero…" Kaname started, moving awkwardly beneath Zero to an angle where the silver haired neko wouldn't notice a slight bulge in the sheets underneath him.

"Yes…" Zero smiled again.

'_Damn that smile.'_ Kaname thought before speaking. "Could you get off me?"

Zero stared at Kaname closely, that smile on his face never disappearing. Kaname felt that Zero was somehow reading very thought in his mind. Yet, something like that was impossible…right?

"Alright," Zero finally answered as he got up.

Kaname visually sighed in relief when the weight of Zero's body was off him and he didn't waste no time quickly gathering up his towel and heading toward his adjoined bathroom, but before he entered he turned to Zero once more.

"Ah, Zero"

Zero looked up toward Kaname with innocent eyes. "Yes?"

"M-Make sure you put something on, okay?"

Zero nodded and watched as Kaname closed the bathroom door behind him. Zero stared at the door for a bit before his smile turned into a smirk. "Next time Master, you won't get away from me so easily." There was a playful mirth in Zero eyes as he hoped from Kaname's bed and made his way to the kitchen to cook up a breakfast that his Master would have dreams about.

Once Kaname had finished his shower and gotten dressed in his usual business wear, he made his way over to the kitchen where he was surprised to see Takuma, Kain, and Aidou all sitting at his kitchen table. Around the table itself was a feast of western style breakfast delights. Kaname found it rather odd that his friends appeared earlier than usual but he didn't question the matter as the delicious aroma of blueberry muffins on the table hit his nose and with one bite, Kaname was in heaven. The taste was amazing and the blueberries were fresh, Kaname couldn't remember the last time he had a homemade meal.

Kaname looked up over his muffin to survey his friends who were oddly very silent and staring off in the same direction. Kaname, bewildered as he was, turned to the direction his friends were staring off into and what he saw –literally- made Kaname choke on the piece of muffin he still had in his mouth.

Zero, who was in the kitchen frying up some eggs, was in a frilly apron. Yet, that wasn't what had all four adult men red as an apple, what did was the fact that Zero had nothing underneath. So, when Zero turned his back to them you could see the round plumpness of his ass.

Zero turned toward the males after feeling their eyes on him. Zero saw the flushed faces and smiled as innocently as he could as he extended out his hand that had the plate of eggs. "Would anyone care for seconds?"

All four men quickly adverted their eyes. "N-No thank you, we had our fill."

Zero shrugged his shoulders and merely went back to cooking in the kitchen.

Kaname sat down on one of the kitchen table chairs with a sigh. "So, what's on today's agenda?"

Takuma cleared his throat before answering. "Well we have a brief meeting with T-Corp. this afternoon, after that we have to review the stocks from last and this month. Then we have an important dinner meeting with Gin Tomoki at six."

Zero's ears perked at that and a frown appeared on his lips. "Master is having dinner outside?"

Kaname turned to Zero. "Why are you upset for Zero?"

"I wanted to surprise Master with a homemade dinner tonight."

Kaname felt a sudden surge of guilt hit him when he saw Zero frown. Kaname rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "I may not be able to make it in time for dinner, but if you were to make me some dessert then I guess that will be okay."

Zero's face immediately perked up at that and Kaname couldn't help but smile at that look on his face. In fact, Kaname couldn't help his eyes from traveling all about the young silver haired neko's frame.

"Earth to Kaname" Kain called to his friend, whose eyes traveled down to the small nubs clearly visible beneath the white fabric of Zero's apron.

Kaname blushed slightly before cooling his features to stare at his friend. "Yes?"

"If we don't hurry, we will be late for work."

Kaname immediately started when he realized the time and after stuffing as much as he can of the muffin into his mouth, he rose to his feet. "Zero, I want you to behave while Aidou watches you while I'm at work."

"What!" Aidou shouted in shock.

"Today is your day off isn't it Aidou?" Kaname asked.

"Yes, but why do I have to watch him?"

"Because out of us, you are the only one with experience in dealing with animals." Kain added.

"Kain, you're really not helping." Aidou spat at his lover who merely shrugged his shoulders. "I may have had one or two cats, but I never once dealt with a neko."

"I'm sure it's not so hard." Takuma reassured.

"Says the people who think they know it all." Aidou murmured to himself, then looked over to Kaname again. "What am I suppose to do with him all day?"

"You brought the things I told you to, right?" Kaname asked.

Aidou nodded and looked over to the small bag of cat toys and treats he brought from his family home at the request of Kaname.

"Then use that and your all set."

"But…" Aidou started but his pleas were falling on deaf ears as the trio bid their goodbyes and left.

As soon as the trio was inside Kain's car, Takuma looked over to the passenger side where Kaname was sitting and spoke. "You think it's okay to just leave Zero in Aidou's hands?"

"Yea, I don't see the harm in it."

Kain shook his head. "You really give my cousin to much credit."

"That's rather mean to say about your lover Kain." Takuma pointed out.

"Not if you know Aidou like I do." Kain answered honestly. "I love the guy but he can be rather clumsy if left unattended."

"But, how bad can he be when he is just watching Zero." Kaname inquired.

"I don't know but if you come home to a bizarre sight, don't say I didn't warn you."

Kaname and Takuma exchanged a worried look amongst themselves. Kaname, most of all, was concerned about the possibility that he had made the biggest mistake of his life by leaving Aidou to watch over Zero.

-0-

Aidou and Zero stared at one another in silence. Both were sitting across each other at the kitchen table. Zero was still in his apron but this time he had the modesty to put on one of Kaname's button up shirts and boxers underneath his apron. Yet, even with Zero's modesty there, the two were still very awkward around the other.

Aidou looked from his tea cup to Zero then back again. "You-ah…make great tea. Did you brew it yourself?"

"Not really, its only instant tea." Zero answered.

"I see…" There was another awkward pause before Aidou started again. "So, um…this maybe kind of awkward but have you and Kaname-san…well, you know…"

"Had sex?" Zero finished for the blonde haired boy.

Aidou blushed out of embarrassment before nodding.

"No, we have not."

"Do you want too?"

"Of course. I want to ravish his body until he is weeping and beg-"

"Alright, that's enough." Aidou interrupted as he covered his ears with his hands.

"You wanted to know."

"Yea, but not in detail."

There was another pause before this time Zero spoke up. "What's in the bag?"

"Oh, this?" Aidou questioned as he brought the bag onto the table. "It's just a few cat toys and treats I brought from home."

"Can I have a look?"

"Yea, sure." Aidou handed Zero the bag for him to look through. Inside was several small balls with tiny bells in them, a long wand with a string at the end, a fake mouse toy, and a bag of treats.

"What's this?" Zero asked pulling out the bag of treats.

"That's cat treats with catnip inside."

"Catnip?" Zero titled his head a little and stared at the treats for a bit then looked up at Aidou. "What's that?"

"It's a plant that cats usually like to nibble on."

"Is it good?"

Aidou shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, it only works on domestic cats. So, I don't know if it'll work on you too?" _'Even if you have cat genes in you.'_

"Can I try one?"

"Sure, what harm could possibly happen?"

Zero smiled as he opened the bag of treats and almost as soon as he opened the bag, a sweet aroma assaulted his nostrils and began making his mind go fussy.

"Ah, Zero…" Aidou called. There was something odd about the way Zero was looking now.

Yet, before Aidou could even think about stopping Zero, he had already consumed the entire bag of treats and after a few seconds of utter silence, a smile came across Zero's face as he stared in Aidou's direction.

"Hey, Aidou?"

Aidou swallowed. "Y-Yes…"

"Let's play Cowboys and Bandits." Zero spoke. Face flushed like a cherry tomato, words slurring like a drunken old man. "I'll be da Cowboy and you'll be da Bandit. So, ya better run or I'll get ya."

"Oh, shit…" Were only two words Aidou could utter silently to himself before he ran like hell in the opposite direction, a drunken silver haired neko eagerly chasing after him.

TBC…

* * *

Poor Aidou, he's going to suffer greatly at the hands of a silver neko high off of catnip *smiles evilly*...anyways, all I wanted to point out in this chappie is the clear chapter title change, which I changed it from cat food to catnip -mainly because cats really do get high off of catnip, plus it makes perfect sense this way-

So, please enjoy this chapter as much as you can and look forward to the next update, which is _Chapter 4: Never leave a Neko near a Fish Tank!_

As always please drop a review and tell me what you think.

~Dia


	4. Never leave a Neko near a Fish Tank!

Chapter 4: Never leave a Neko near a Fish Tank!

Kaname didn't know whether to be highly pissed or extremely embarrassed at the peculiar scene in front of him. Drenched in water and completely naked was Zero. His face was flush and he talked in words that Kaname couldn't quite understand. It was obvious that Zero was…to say the least…drunk. But how that happened, Kaname didn't quite understand that either. But the alluring sight of Zero shaking his fanny, tail swinging back and forth, as if hypnotizing you, was just too much for even him to take. And to think his morning started off as normally as possible.

Kaname had spent his entire morning on edge. There was a creeping feeling on the back of his mind as he went about his morning as best he could. Yet the feeling only got stronger when he was at his dinner meeting with Gin. It was a good thing that his two friends were there to talk on his behave since Kaname spent more time looking at his expensive wrist watch than he did to those around him.

As soon as the dinner meeting was over and the farewells were given, Kaname didn't hesitate in speeding over to where Kain parked his car and waited -rather impatiently- for the others to catch up. The ride from the restaurant back to Kaname's place was quiet. The airs around the three men were tense and it was obvious that Kaname wasn't the only one feeling on edge. Kain as well had a nagging feeling boiling deep within his gut, it wasn't a dreaded feeling as if the world was going to end right there and then, just one that was cause for mild concern. Yet knowing his lover like Kain did, the word _mild_ was not the proper word to associate Aidou with since nothing was ever_ mild_ when it came to Hanabusa Aidou.

And oh boy was he correct the moment the front door was opened to Kaname's apartment.

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me. Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me…don't cha~" Zero sang the Pussycat Doll's song merrily as he twirled his hips from side to side, hands in the air as he did so.

The boys watched on captivated by those hips before Kain realized something was missing…or more appropriately, _someone_ was missing.

"Where's Hanabusa?"

"I think he's in jail?" Takuma pointed out as he nodded toward the individual in question who was under the table stark naked and hog tied with his hands and feet bound behind him with tap covering his mouth. Also tapped underneath the table was a paper sign that read JAIL in bold letters.

"What the hell are you doing there Aidou?" Kain asked the other. "This isn't time to play around, you know?"

Aidou gave his lover the most dirtiest look he could before grumbling and gesturing upward to Zero who finally stopped singing when he realized there were others in the room.

"Ahoy there landlubbers! What have thee got with me prisoner?" Zero hollered at the trio.

"Why is he acting like a pirate for?" Kain looked at the two beside him waiting for some kind of answer.

Takuma and Kaname both shrugged their shoulders before Kaname spoke up. "Alright Zero, enough of this silly game, it's time to stop-"

The feel of something wet beneath Kaname's foot when he stepped down the small steps that led to his living room had the chestnut haired man looking down, and to his horror there was at least two or three inches of water, but where it came from was an even bigger mystery until Kaname found himself looking over at his large in wall fish tank that was 35 feet long and 7-1/5 feet tall that was fill with 15,000 gallons of water and harbored expensive exotic fish. Kaname's mouth dropped open when he saw the large gapping hole in the middle of his now empty tank. His exotic fish were swimming in the now shallow water that filled up Kaname's living room.

"Zero, what in god's name happened here?" Kaname asked as calmly as he could.

Zero tilted his head to one side. "Who tis be this Zero you mistake me for landlubber?"

"Fine, then who might you be?" Kaname questioned playing along with Zero for the moment.

"I am the mighty Silver Beard!" Zero answered with pride. "Now what do thee landlubbers want with me prisoner."

Kaname pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Seriously Zero, stop playing around-"

Kaname was interrupted when a dart was shot at him and missed him by a few inches.

"You are conspirators against the mighty Silver Beard for trying to help the prisoner escape, now you shall feel me raft!" Zero said pointing the tranquilizer gun at the three.

"Uh, Kaname?" Kain peeked over at the other. "Since when have you owned a toy tranquilizer gun?"

Kaname swallowed. "I don't…"

Immediately the three males dived over to their left where Kaname's leather couch was just as the second dart was shot in their direction, missing them by a margin. The three males ducked behind the couch for cover.

"He has a loaded tranquilizer gun!" Kain shouted. "Why the hell do you have something like that?"

"For protection of course." Kaname answered.

"What…you think a bear will come and rob you or something?"

"Don't be so hard on him Kain-san, it's not his fault that he can't tell the difference between a regular gun and a tranquilizer gun." Takuma added with a mocking smile that was anything but innocent.

"You guys are jerks."

"Says the guy who's pet has my lover hostage and who is shooting darts at us!" Kain huffed.

"You act like this is my fault!"

"Well it is…sort of." Kain added.

"How so?"

"Would you two shut up for a moment so we could figure out how to save Aidou!" Takuma shouted at the two.

"Your right, he's the only one who could shed some light as to what is wrong with Zero." Kaname commented.

"Yea, but how do we do that?"

"In order to outwit a pirate, you must think like a pirate."

"You can't be serious, right?" Kaname questioned as he looked at Takuma with a raised eyebrow.

"In order to help Zero, we have to play along."

Kaname sighed. "Alright, so what's the plan?"

"Simple, we just invoke the right of parlay."

"And what the hell does that do?"

"Well Kain if you must know, it means that we must be taken to the captain to come to an negotiation and the captain just so happens to be Zero."

"So who's going to invoke the right of parlay?"

"I am." Takuma smiled.

Kain and Kaname looked at each other before looking toward Takuma. "Your having fun with this aren't you?"

Takuma stood and before he left, he turned to the two and answered. "More than you know."

Kain and Kaname both rolled their eyes before peeking over the couch to watch the scene unfold.

"Holt! Who goes there?" Zero inquired.

"Tis me, captain Blue Eyes." Takuma spoke. "I came to you under the right of parlay."

Zero looked at the blonde for a moment before nodding. "Come aboard me vessel captain, and together we shall negotiated your terms."

Takuma nodded and stepped onto the table with Zero, much to the amazement of Kain and Kaname who were sure the plan would turn to failure. After several minutes of quiet negotiation, Aidou was set free (still naked). Kain had never seen his lover run so fast to his side as he did.

"Takuma, how were you able to get him back?" Kain asked the blonde when he returned.

"As per our agreement to set Aidou free, I am exempt from any punishment given if we were to get caught by captain Silver Beard." Takuma beamed.

"You traitor!"

"Leave him, since what we needed the most is here." Kaname muttered over to Kain before looking over to Aidou. "Please tell us what the hell is going on."

Slowly taking the tap from his mouth, Aidou explained as much he could the start of the events.

Kain's eyes were round as saucers. "Dude, did he really karate chop the fish tank?"

"He was determined to get naked."

"Okay, I understand what caused this but how in the hell do we fix him?" Kaname asked after a moment of trying to process everything.

"I wish we had something that could tell us what to do?"

"You mean like that manual?" Takuma suggested as he pointed to the book that floated right in front of them.

Kaname immediately grabbed the book and flipped to the third chapter and read. "_Neko's have highly sensitive noses like most common house cats but stronger, and with high inhalations or intake of certain plants, most typically those in the Nepeta (aka catnip) genus. Neko's could become highly intoxicated. When in extreme cases, Neko's should under any circumstances be left unattended with anyone who can't even take care of themself…_"

"That's Aidou all right." Kain added in.

"I'm right here, you know." Aidou huffed.

"And your point is?"

"Would you two let me continue?" Kaname interrupted before going back to reading. "_The following are a list of things a Neko shouldn't be succumbed to during the time of intoxication of catnip.  
1. Neko's shouldn't watch TV or else they will mimic what they see.  
2. Neko's must not see the color red or else their sadist side may surface.  
3. Neko's mustn't for any reason be near any body of water (fish tanks included), since they will turn into pirates. Nor should they get wet or else they will strip naked._  
_4. Under no circumstances should a Neko be allowed to Rap._"

"What the hell kind of warnings are these." Kain growled. Kaname couldn't agree more with Kain. Kaname didn't know who this Kaien Cross person was, but he so desperately felt the need to kick this old man's ass.

Looking through the chapter once more, Kaname came upon the solution on how to get Zero back to normal. As Kaname read through the entire sentence, a dark blush tainted his cheeks.

"I have to what?"

Takuma smirked when he read the solution. "_To revert a Neko back to normal, the Master must slap the Neko on the fanny and nip his ear_…oh my, how naughty."

"I'm pretty sure Kaname will enjoy that." Kain teased.

"S-Shut up." Kaname said to the two. "I may be the one who to do it, but you guys are going to help me catch him."

"Let Aidou do it?" Kain suggested, he was getting tired of having to keep hiding from the Zero, who god knows what he has planned for them.

"Hell no!" Aidou shouted. "You have no idea what he did to me."

"Oh please, it's probably not that bad."

"He stripped me naked, hog tied me and tried to spank me with a ruler!"

Kaname, Kain, and Takuma stared at Aidou before all three men stood.

"I think I should catch him." Takuma suggested with an innocent blush.

"Like hell! I'm the strongest compared to you two!" Kain countered with an even darker blush.

"Zero is my pet, so if anyone has to catch him then I think I should be the one to do it." Kaname's face was a whole new shade of red compared to the other two males beside him.

Aidou slapped his palm to his forehead and grumbled annoyingly. "You three all have weird hobbies."

With the determination and the thought of arousing Zero's more _'playful'_ side, the three men set off to conquer the silver haired beauty.

TBC…


	5. Neko's can't Rap

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Knight or it's characters, I merely borrow them for my own and other's amusement. I also do not own Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham or Dragon Ball Z, which inspired this funny chapter.

p.s. I change a few things concerning what will happen when a neko gets drunk. But anyway, please enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 5: Neko's Can't Rap

"Okay, so what's the plan?" Kain questioned as the four men huddled together.

"Well I suggest a plan where you three take care of Zero while I sit far away and watch in a safe distance."

"Oh no you don't Hanabusa. You are not weaseling your way out of this."

"Especially since this is your doing." Kaname accused.

"How the hell was I suppose to know he would get high off of catnip!"

"Correction…he is drunk off of catnip."

"Does it even matter at this point, Takuma? Zero is not himself right now…and yes it is my fault that he's like this but you three will never understand the ordeal I went through before you got here. It was horrible." Aidou shivered as he began to remember.

~Flashback~

Aidou had somehow successfully locked himself in the bathroom. His heart was pounding rapidly in his chest. Zero had chased him around the entire apartment for no apparent reason what so ever after he finished the treats and now Aidou was trapped in Kaname's master bath terrified like a little girl. Yet as every minute ticked away, the eerie quietness on the other side of the door was even more nerve racking.

What if something happened to Zero while Aidou hid like a pansy? Aidou shuddered at the idea of being punished by Kaname. And if he had to choose, he would rather risk succumbing to a suddenly crazed Zero than a furious Kaname. Swallowing back his fear, Aidou unlocked the bathroom door and cracked it open a bit. It was then that he could hear the faint sound of the television playing in the living room.

Tip-toeing his way toward Kaname's bedroom door that looked into the living room, Aidou peeked from behind the door toward Zero who eyes were glued to the colorful large screen TV hung on Kaname's living room wall.

At first Zero just stood there staring. Aidou couldn't really tell what the other was watching as a bookcase was blocking his view of the complete living room but after another second or so he got his answer when Zero started mimicking what the TV was doing.

Aidou had to cover his mouth to stop the laughter from coming, as he watched Zero mimic leg kicks to Richard Simmons's work out video. The scenario was so funny that Aidou was shaking from surpassed laughter.

Zero was really getting into it, leg kicks, hand pumps, the whole nine yards. Talk about dedication.

Yet as Aidou watched the other work out, the neko got dangerously closer to the fish tank with each work out and that got Aidou nervous again. Stepping out from the safety of Kaname's room, Aidou entered the living room and dashed toward the remote before the other had time to react.

"What are you doing?" Zero huffed at the other.

"Preventing you from getting me into trouble." Aidou answered as he turned off the TV.

Zero gasped in horror as the screen went completely black. "You monster! You killed Richard Simmons!"

"I didn't kill him, I just turned the TV off."

Zero wasn't listening as he continued. "You are going to pay for what you did."

"Oh yea, what are you going to do about it?"

Zero closed his eyes as he took a deep breath in through his nose and out his mouth. His body moved swiftly into a Kiba Dachi stance. Zero's eyes were locked onto Aidou.

"Uh, what are you doing?" Aidou questioned the other a bit nervous since the other was posed in a karate stance in front of him.

"Ka…me…ha…me…ha…Richard Simmons's turtle chop!" Zero shouted as he threw a punch at the other.

"What the fuck!" Aidou had just barely dodged the punch as he dashed to the side. "What is wrong with you?"

"You slain my sensei and now I will avenge him."

"I fucking told you that I just turned off the T-"

"Ka…me…ha…me…ha-"

"Oh shit." Aidou squeaked, getting to his feet as he sprinted away as Zero gathered up his power for another attack.

"…Richard Simmons's Monkey kick!"

A gust of wind from Zero's kick blew the blonde across the living room. Aidou grunted as he landed on his bum, his back to the fish tank.

Zero stepped forward. "No where else for you to go little man."

"Zero wait! Please let me show you that he's all right, just let me-" Aidou started, reaching desperately for the remote in his back pocket but the remote had broke from the fall and now it wouldn't turn on the TV.

"It's time you pay the price, blonde assassin."

"Blonde what?"

"Ka…me…ha…me…ha…Richard Simmons's Tiger claw!"

Aidou squinted as he dodged again as Zero's punch swung downward right into the glass fish tank. Aidou wasn't able to run for cover as the water shot out the tank like a fire hose, sending both him and Zero back and across the other side of the room.

Aidou spit some of the water out of his mouth before surveying the situation. His mouth dropped as his eyes came upon the gaping hole in the fish tank and at the three-inch water that surrounded Kaname's living room. It was fortunate in a way that Kaname's living room dipped inward like a mini bowl of sorts, since at least it made it deep enough for his fishes to swim but not so much since Aidou knew he was going to have to clean it up. Yet that was less worse than what Kaname would do when he saw this when he got back.

"Ahoy landlubber!"

Aidou got taken away from his thoughts when his attention was directed toward Zero who was standing on the table completely naked. His now wet clothes were turned into a sail that was fastened on a broomstick that Zero tapped to the end of the table.

A lot of things were swimming around Aidou's head at this point but the one that disturbed him the most was how the other could have had the time to do this so damn fast. He was like the superhero Flash the way he worked.

Aidou was exhausted from the many quick events that happened yet somehow the hours seemed to go slowly. Aidou had to call Kaname and let the other know to come home quick, the way Zero was now was way too much for him to handle but as Aidou pulled out his phone from his pocket he grumbled when the damn thing wouldn't turn on.

'_It must've short circuited because of the water.'_ The blonde thought and frowned. _'Just my luck.'_

"Is that red?" Zero asked almost in a daze.

Aidou looked at his red case and nodded at the other who seemed to have a grin plastered on his face now.

Aidou swallowed the lump in his throat as he slowly began stepping backwards. Yet the other couldn't get away this time as Zero captured him with his lasso. How the other somehow obtained a rope was beyond Aidou but now he was under Zero's mercy as the other began stripping him of his clothes.

"Have you gone mad Zero?" Aidou shouted at the other as he tried to struggle. "Because if you ask me I would say yes you hav-AH!"

Aidou was silenced as Zero spanked his bottom with a ruler. Something else that just seemed to come out of nowhere.

"Treacherous shipmates should behave." Zero purred.

"What!" Hanabusa barked but was silence when Zero put tape over his mouth.

"It's time for bad shipmates to shut up and go to jail now."

Aidou was shoved unceremoniously under the table while the other got back on up on it.

"I am the undefeatable Captain Silver Beard, unstoppable and mighty. I shall celebrate my win with a victorious serenade!"

-End of flashback-

Aidou shook at the memory. "It was hell. Absolute hell. You have no idea how annoying it was to be trapped and have to listen to him sing for two hours straight. Just horrible."

"Oh man up, will you." Kain spat. "It's enough already that you had to retell us your traumatizing experience again, but because of you we wasted a good ten minutes because of it."

"Hey, I have feelings too you know!"

"Would the two of you stop already? Remember we have to capture Zero." Kaname reminded.

"Yea but we're sucking badly at it." Takuma pointed out.

During Aidou's flashback story the boys all decided on a full out frontal attack on the silver haired Neko. However, the combat skills of Zero were no match for the four men whom were losing horribly to the other.

"What's the matter landlubbers can't catch the mighty Silver Beard?" Zero taunted as he dashed away from each of them as they tried to grab him.

"He's like a pouncing Bami!" Kain was wheezing out of breath. "How do we win against him?"

"I don't know but I want to ring his neck." Aidou threatened as he got up after falling flat on his face when he slipped on a fish.

"Be careful Aidou! You almost squished Cynthia!"

Takuma, Kain and Aidou looked at Kaname as he petted his Angel Fish named Cynthia before setting her free again in the little pond that was Kaname's living room.

"Like seriously Kaname?"

"So what if I name my fish!" Kaname narrowed his eyes at his friends who had spoke in unison. "Don't judge me!"

"Have you landlubbers given up?" Zero looked at the other's as he towered over them as he stood on the table.

"No, we just decided on a game to play." Takuma countered making Zero's ears perk and the other's look at him confused.

"Just play along." Takuma whispered to his friends.

"What kind of game?" Zero asked excitedly, tail wagging happily.

"One where a contest is involved."

"Can it be a rapping contest?" Zero beamed.

"Uh…sure."

"Yay!" Zero leaped from the table to the floor and pointed to Aidou. "I want to play against him."

"What! Why me?"

"I want to make you my slave when I win." Zero grinned.

"Tch…lucky." Kain, Takuma and Kaname huffed, scowling at the blonde.

"Like I said before, you guys really have some weird taste in hobbies."

"Don't judge us!" The three said together.

"Whatever." Aidou rolled his eyes before focusing them on Zero once more. "But if I win you have to let Kaname spank your butt and bite your ear, okay."

"Fine, now let's get this started." Zero accepted, then pointed at Kain and Kaname. "You two be the judges as I go first then him."

"Then what will Takuma do?"

"Don't worry Kaname, I will provide the music." Takuma added and shocked his friends when he started beat boxing.

Zero nodded his head to the beat before going.

"Yo, yo this is Zero,  
My names a number,  
Anyone with a problem with it  
I'll spit in your eye  
And make you cry,  
Then I'll whack you like a fly.  
I don't like the color red  
it's gross and smells like dread,  
but I do like spaghettiOs  
And Honey Nut Cheerios.  
But I won't let anyone have some  
cause Trix's are for kids yo."

Zero ended by crossing his arms over himself and nodding his head like a rapper.

Aidou wasn't sure if he should feel relief or sorry for the fact that Zero's rap made no sense what so ever and sucked terribly bad. Either way, he had to make his better than Zero's.

Taking a nervous breath, Aidou started.

"Do you like  
Green eggs and ham  
I do not like them,  
Sam-I-am.  
I do not like  
green eggs and ham…"

"Is he trying to rap Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham?" Kain whispered over to Kaname.

"Yea I think so."

Kain shook his head, embarrassed for his own lover.

"Would you like them  
Here or there?  
I would not like them  
Here or there.  
I would not like them  
Anywhere.  
I do not like  
Green eggs and ham.  
I do not like them,  
Sam-I-am."

Aidou ended it with the same move as Zero but this time he add a _'sticking out his tongue because he doesn't give a damn'_ gesture for dramatic purposes.

Kain and Kaname didn't know whether to be embarrassed or disturbed on how ridiculous the blonde and neko looked. Both their raps were horrible, not to mention unoriginal. Yet they knew even before the game started who the winner was going to be.

"Aidou." Kaname and Kain announced together.

"What? That is totally like unfair." Zero protested.

"Yea, I agree. Hanabusa totally cheated."

"Would you stay out of this Takuma?" Kain barked at him.

"I call for a rematch right no-" Zero started but was silenced when Kaname swiftly spanked his butt and bit his ear.

Zero swayed a bit before falling into Kaname's arms fast asleep.

"Well that took no time at all." Kain uttered.

"That's because Kaname cheated." Takuma muttered.

Ignoring a disappointed Takuma who was set on seeing a rematch, Kaname gave a sigh of relief. The whole crazy night was over and with the main troublemaker fast asleep, the next step was cleaning up this mess.

"Oh Aidou-kun~" Kaname said eyeing the blonde who was the cause of everything. "I think it's time for your punishment now."

Aidou whimpered at the scary look on Kaname's face, making him wish that the drunken Zero were still awake to save him from the silver haired neko's master.

TBC…


End file.
